Not failthful to the blog world

Dear Friends,
I haven't posted anything on this blog in such a long time. There are things that I think to write about through out the day. So much so that at times, I want to carry a voice recorder to remember the thoughts. There are many times when I'm driving and I wish there was a video camera strapped to the roof of my car while I said all my crazy thoughts out loud.

For a living, I do several things. All involve driving to some degree. And I usually drive to random spots all over the bay area. And while driving my brain joins in on the journey and it takes me to some rather bizarre places.

I'm not even sure why I started to write that portion. . . oh yes, now I recall.

As a child I wrote daily. I probably wrote out every thought I ever had in one day. The older I got, I would write about words/phrases/ certain influences of the day and how I grew from those real moments. But I just don't write anymore. And I don't know why.

Sometimes I just think that the world has heard it all. What could I contribute that hasn't already been recorded in a song, poem, painting, dance, phrase? I'm sure there is something, but so striking that it needs to be recorded onto virtual paper? Just not sure. Not convinced of that anymore.

But the funny thing is that I miss writing. I feel normalized after writing. All the weird stuff going on in my head has a place to take a nap on paper perhaps. So what's going through my head now. So much. So so much.

I'm going to North Carolina next week. Wasn't planning on making it, but the airfare went from over $500 to a just a tad bit over $200. So I took it as a sign that I'm meant to be there. To see what the next portion of my life may or may not be.

The forks in my road have been very odd. I haven't met very many people that have my type of fork. Perhaps if you're someone out there that does, you could shed some light on this situation. Perhaps if you're anyone out there, you can still shed some light on this situation.

For as long as I could recall. My forks offer me to great options. None of them are bad. And both happen to be dreams come true. So I sit there. Sulk. Pray. Frustrate. Grumble. Laugh. Ignore until I do or do not make a choice. Others say I see the now but don't see the light at the end of the road. I see the light, but don't know how to get there. What is best for me? for my loved ones? ministry, etc. I know it will all wind up ok. But what do you do in the meantime. Do you take this option and hope that the latter soon appears again?

what are your thoughts?

Comments

Anonymous said…
maybe you should stay,,,,,, don't go away................

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