The Beginning of May

As I have almost sat the entire evening in the belly of this whale there was no other excuse but to write. There is a battle that is going on inside me of continuing to live and produce photographic images and sitting down and actually writing some of the details that took place around the photographs I am taking. I am so busy at the present moment experiencing life, that encourage myself by saying I will do this or that project when I get home, and complete the process of this trip. But I am not quite sure if it really is going to work out that way or not. There is a growing desire inside me that wants to process and actually produce something at the end of each of my day. There is an even greater part of me that wants to produce something for my readers at the end of the day too. But I find myself so tired at the end of each day, that when I crawl into my bed, I just want to sleep/pray/unwind. How do you balance this? Ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Thursday night, April 20th, I had grown so tired that I just fell asleep. I went to bed with my clothes, badge, and keys on. I think I took off my shoes. Right after dinner, I excused myself from the table and just slept. I slept the rest of the night, and looked at my clock and it was barely 2am. I rolled over, forced myself back to sleep, and then reached an all too great hour of 3 o’clock in the morning. There was nothing else I could do but get up and not try to sleep anymore. I went up to the midships area and began to write, edit, and read. But there was a great excitement in me for the day. I had a feeling that Friday, May 7th, was going to be a good day, but I wasn’t quite sure why.

Richard Winn (nurse), came up to me later on while at breakfast and simply said,

“It’s going to be a good day today!”

I simply nodded my head in agreement, but didn’t take his word as a prophetically hopeful as possible. Indeed, he was abundantly correct which I will begin to explain now. I was ‘on call’ that Friday and as the on call ship photographer it’s my job to respond to the pager and go around the ship taking photographs as per requested. I had received a page to go to the ward and photograph a patient discharged from our Smile Train program. The Smile Train program is a specific procedure that we do for people, mostly infants that have cleft lips or palates. In just 24 hours from surgery most of our patients go home and can live a relatively normal life. It’s incredible to watch the conversion, and even more incredible to document the process.

As I walked out of the ward, a day volunteer, Caleb approached me and said,

“Did you see her?”

I shook my head in a no response, because I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about.

He went on to say,

“You know she is waiting for you!”

So I stopped him, and looked into his eyes and said,

“Who? Who is waiting for me?”

“Your little friend. You know, your little friend. His mom is here, outside on the admissions tent waiting for you.”

“Farrouck? He is here? His mom is here. Nacimento??” I asked.

“No not Farouck, his mom is here. She has been waiting for you all day long!” Caleb explained.

“Nacimento is here?”

(photo taken when the day I first met them, in the admissions tent!)

I don’t know what else happened after that. All I can recall is that I ran down the hall, up two flights of stairs, down the office corridor, through the International Café, passed reception, out onto the gangway, and onto the dockside, only to see Nacimento sitting down, and getting up to run over to me too. She hugged me so tight and truthfully. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I was so happy to see her, dressed so very elegantly, and she was happy. So happy. She looked so good. She has gone from a mother who was so worried about her boy, to a strong, stylish, confident business woman.

I immediately I asked Mehza, our office day volunteer if we could work out a plan to permit Nacimento to come inside and we indeed worked out that plan. When I sat out at the admissions tent, the day volunteers were out there and were sad not to see me there as often. The other day volunteers on the dock had mentioned to me that ever since Farouck left, I don’t go out there anymore, and they were speaking the truth. The admissions tent is a hard place to be. There are so many faces that come out there on a daily basis, and my heart breaks, and reopens each time. And I miss the social times I had with Farouck out there. The sting of truth pierced me, because I realized that I did have a roll/purpose to be out near the admissions tent, and that the local people remembered me. My role as a welcome, friend, and documenter had been missed. Indeed, many a soul had permitted me to photograph one of the most nerve stimulating portions of their journey to the ship. So I made a mental note to myself to keep it up. To keep up the work I was doing when I first got here. To keep up the pace, and to keep on loving. Back to Nacimento.

Did I tell you she looked gorgeous? She had these deep rich summer hue colored patterned dress on, with a matching head scarf. She had a nice pair of matching earring and necklace set and a sparkly watch. She looked happier than ever and healthy. She gave me lots of information right in the first few moments that we started to talk. Farrouck has been missing me, and had been begging his mom to come and visit. Nacimento enrolled him into a good school, and wasn’t permitted to miss school, since he had already missed so much because of the illnesses he had prior. He was worried that I was leaving on the 14th and that he wouldn’t be able to send me a note. So she opened up her purse and presented me with a gift. I did cry at this point. I didn’t even have to open it. My insides just melted. More precious than anything. He had colored two pages of a coloring book (puppies) and taped them together as to make an envelope. In the inside of the envelope there were two notes. One note stated a sample of his penmanship. The other note stated a cute letter. He made to craft yarn balls for me that he learned how to make while he was here on the ship. He gave me a little toy. Two packages of cookies, and four candies. So wonderful. Oh and then a bag filled with a cluster of grapes.

Then Nacimento told me, that the only way she could get Farrouck to go to sleep that night, was to promise that she would come visit me on that day. He woke up at 3am and spent the rest of the early morning putting together that little gift package for me. Isn’t that incredible? I’m so touched and honored. Funny thing is that I woke up at 3am anticipating something too. We had both been planning for something! Afterwards we went inside, and had a long two almost three hour chat in the International Café’. I snuck into the ship shop and got Farouck a Mercy Ships t-shirt and Nacimento a craft bracelet. As a thank you. And in our conversation, I surprised her, by letting her know that I had decided to extend. That I indeed will be visiting Farrouck the whole day that he is here, and that we will celebrate a great day together in Lome. Nacimento was so happy, and even invited me to come and stay in their home for a visit. I pray that I may be able to do such a thing in the days to come.

Potentially I could write about so many other things that have already taken place in the first nine days of May. I preached on Sunday the 3rd. I went to a party at the US embassy on the 7th. Much much much more to come. I just wanted to remember that moment. The love of a mother to come from another country on behalf of her twelve year old son.

(my mother Lula, and my gmom Mama)

I called my mom and grandmother just now to wish them Happy Mother’s Day. They were in bed together, getting cozy, while it rained in Milpitas. That love between the two of them runs deeper than blood. It runs deeper than anything I have ever experienced outside of this circle. I think about the unconditional love of all the mothers in the ward tonight. They are just a few doors down from my cabin. The sleep underneath their children (our patients) on a mattress. They sacrifice everything about themselves to raise their children. They will be woken up several times tonight as their child recuperates from surgery. They will be woken up several times tonight as their child was just admitted tonight, and is scared to be in the belly of whale. They will worry. They will cry. They will pray. I think of the mothers that didn’t actually give birth to some of our patients, but since they were abandoned, the decided to take them into their homes/hearts. Mothers like mine. Mothers like my mother’s mother. Mothers like Nacimento. Mothers all over the world, loving, caring, and hoping the very best for their little ones. Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful great moms out there!

(infant Smile Train patient resting on his mom after surgery)