My last day on retreat.

Dear Friends,

I just got back from retreat in Lake Tahoe. I came home a day early to prepare for Wendy's wedding. I had to make sure that I had all my gear prepared for the big day.

This morning I woke up to a great view of Lake Tahoe. Got dressed and went out for a morning walk to catch my last of the Tahoe air. Clean cold fresh pine filled air. It's addicting. I can't get enough of it. I want to hold the breath in forever but then want to exhale super fast so I can get the next scent in my nose.

I walked over to the dining hall and sat with a great group of people. Everyone grew friendlier as the days went on. People hugged me. Prayed with me. And began to smile and know my name. We had great moments of sharing our fears and our joys with one another. We encouraged one another in prayer, dance, song, art, and theater. And I left refreshed. Peaceful. Trusting.

The companions group is a very interesting. Lots of tradition from the old celtic days that I haven't a clue about. But everyone there loves the Lord. Everyone one there was trying to figure out the journey of life. Everyone there needed a touch from God. This I know we all had in common. Perhaps our practices are different but our hearts were very similar.

My roomate Con was one of the best things about the retreat. God put us together for a great purpose. We spent many nights staying up late and talking about our lives and where we've been. And she was so encouraging. Offered such a great ear. And I even celebrated her birthday with her. Had a chance to see her walk onto water like Peter. Had the opportunity to watch her draw her healing into reality. Had the opportunity to know and meet a great woman of God. I truly lucked out with such a great roomate. And I'm blessed to have had those conversations. Divine Moments. Divine Encouragements.

There was so much that was brought up there. So much about who we are and how we're made. What really makes us tick. Not the programs or the assumptions about us or ministry. Just the every day what make us tick. And how fears can really manipulate ones order for the day. And really so so so much more.

In this week, I've found something that I was looking for. It wasn't companions per say. But I found something. Perhaps a direction. An aim. A launced arrow. But I found it. I can't even say what it is yet. But I did find it. And I need to pursue it more. Dig deeper. Be at peace. And allow it to transform. I keep coming back to the phrase that Mark said.

You didn't make it. You don't own it. You can't control it. It's His gift to you.

~ talking about our lives.

We didn't make our beings and we can't control what happens in our lifetime.
It's a gift of life that he's offered us not a burden. Not something to over bearingly control.

Something in me clicked. I found more of what I wanted and got a bad taste for what I didn't need. I pray that the bad taste stays bad and I can focus on the stuff that God wants me to focus on.

If someone asked me what I did the most this weekend, I'd have to say prayer. We prayed a lot together, but I prayed a lot on my own too. The four days were filled with prayer. Lots of it.

well goodnight for now. I'll write more again soon!