His Heart Beat

Tonight at Vintage Faith Church I found myself again. Each time that I attend I find a piece of me that I forgot about or I'm revealed a side of myself that was unaware to me. The personal definition of being a christian grows daily.



There are several metaphors that come to mind to further expond on this thought, but the one that most vividly comes to mind is if of the back packer preparing for her treck up hill both ways. At one point my sachel was completly emptied out. It had stuff/junk/memories/dreams of a former journey that I was preparing for. A journey completly planned out of selfish ambition and mutant dreams. It was emptied/cleaned/refurbished the day I accepted Christ as a confidant.



But as I prepared for the next portion of journey I began to pick up old tools that worked in times past to make it through this cliff/bridge/gigantic rock, etc. Certain mind sets, self encouraging tricks, greys, weren't working for this journey. So I begin to examine my sachel last night. Some provisions were cumbersome and inappropriate now. Most were perfect and am forever grateful for. I had my santa espirtiu compass, had my instruction manual, had certain tangible memories or encouragers throughout my life...so to not go any further with this cheesy metaphor.



Our musical worship leader Josh Fox, asked us to consider the possibility of hearing God's voice. If we could hear God's voice, what would He say at that present moment? He told of a story that God represented Himself in a whisper. So I sat down. The possibility to hear Him. And in a matter of seconds He was faithful to my inquiry. I didn't hear a loud mean voice shouting from the heavens. Nor did I hear Him in a whisper. It was in the percussion. A musician beating his hands in to a wood box. Thump. Thump. Thump. The guitar silenced. The harmonica stayed on one single note and the piano grew faint and the only sound was beat. boom. son.

I found myself asking 'is that you?'

Again I wondered 'is that your heart beat?'



I never heard an audible yes but a grand peace hovered over me and like a fresh out of the dryer blanket. Yes. Thump. Thump. Thump. His heart beat. Tears came down my face and I felt my sachel being emptied out and being once again filled with the appropriate provisions for this next round of my journey. His love. His mercy. His miraculous capability to unite. His ability to stop time if even for just a second. His hault to my fears. His light to my doubt. His heart of compassion stretching mine once again. His grace covering all my dark. Thump. Thump. Thump. Consistent heart beat. Faithful.