Amazing Women

It's now 2am. I should be in bed but the ideas/thoughts/unknowns/ keep revolving around my head. I've done all the ordinary things that usually distract me but tonight is different. That familiar urge that once beckoned me to my journal now draws me to this blog.

Two of the greatest emotional resources of my life are totally under the weather. I've spent the last week, now going on two, taking care of my grandmother and mother. Strange to think that there is now a time where I can help my elders. The same people that taught me right from wrong by what they did or didn't do. By how they did or didn't say it. Or by how they are just the way they are.
Not sure where to even begin writing about them. Other than this picture. It was my sanctuary as a child. And if I were to tell you all the stories about this one particular place it would last for oh...maybe 28 years???? This picture was taken a few weeks ago. But the memories of Mama's room last forever.

The first memories have been retold to me so much that I'm convinced I really do remember. I have memories of being squished by my grandparents in bed to keep me safe. My grandfather waking up quietly at 3am every morning and getting ready with just a dim light to not wake us. Playing with my eyelids until a cool sensation came over my eyes. To talking to that man in a painting over my grandmothers bed...she said he could walk on water...and help us with anything that we are going through. Learning to do the sign of the cross and praying. A closet filled with the coolest clothes ever...genie shoes...embroidered shawls...glittery Cinderella slippers that I couldn't ever wear not even just in the house. Playing harmonica for hours in the closet underneath all the silky fabrics. A super cool princess phone that had an rotary dial.

But now it's just a lil different. Mamas' room is the same but she isn't. Oh don't get me wrong. She is so alive but her poor lil feet fail her sometimes. This morning the photograph was taken, we all gathered around her. And I was able to capture a moment so rare and personal. That's my grandmother and mom. They were resting one early morning...just not quite ready to get up yet. I had to grab my camera.

You see so often a time...this room is our sanctuary. The room echoes with Mama's heart even when she isn't in there. But what a treat to catch her in bed and snuggle to get a chance to snuggle. Let's just say...filler up! To breathe her in and glow with love over her. She has the ability to make you ignite and challenge the universe. To see her child, my mom there too. Awesome. I sat on the other end of the bed. Proud. Honored. Blessed. Blessed to recognize it.

Tonight Mama is coughing. She is restless. So uncomfortable. Been trying to comfort her and be her healthcare help. Tonight Mom is sound asleep in her room. Recovering from surgery. I'm here keeping a watch over them. Not really knowing what the future holds. Not really knowing much. Just that it feels good to write out some of these thoughts...